Light bulb jokes.

I created this last year in an attempt to diffuse a very heated argument on religion over at Carmody online. Some were inspired by other light bulb jokes out there but a few of them were created by my brother his friend and myself. I hope you enjoy.

If you're going to be offensive do it properly. Offend everyone.
And so the answers to that extremely important question:
How do you change the light bulb?

Aastru - The answer may be found in the cycles of Valhalla and Odin.
Agnostic - I think there's a light bulb but I can't be bothered finding it.
Alexandrian Wiccan - Find out what the Gardenarians are doing.
Ancient Egyptian - Oh no the dung beetle died.
Ancient Roman - The Sybilline Books tell us that a Vestal has broken her vow of chastity. In reparation we shall import a new light bulb. But first we must remove all foreign influences and make it unrecognisable.
Anglican - We are independent of the Roman Catholic Church and reserve the right for Henry VIII to change the light bulb whenever he feels like it.
Astrologer - Don't ask me right now, Mercury's in retrograde.
Atheist - There is no light bulb. There never was a light bulb. Anyone who believes in the light bulb is delusional.
Born Again Christian - Praise Jesus!
Buddhist - Any action will result in a karmic imbalance.
Calvanist - It was predestined to be so by God.
Catholic - The light bulb must be given last rites.
Ceremonial Magician - Will hold up the light bulb and the world will revolve around him.
Dianic Wiccan - It was a man's fault.
Druid - How did a light bulb get into the forest?
Ecclectic Pagan - (Oooh, this is me)I want a new one with the colour of a candle, the energy consumption of a flourescent and the light quality of the sun.
Fluffy Bunny - I'm a White Witch and only ever do Good Magick.
Fundamental Christian - It's the devil's work!
Fundamental Muslim - Kill the infidels who broke the light bulb.
Gardenarian Wiccan - That's a 3rd degree initiation secret.
Jedi - Use the force.
Jew - Bless it with wine.
Kitchen Witch - Will just change the damn light herself.
Lutheran - Light bulbs distract from the true message of God.
Muslim - It must not be changed during daylight in the Holy month of Ramadan.
NeoPagan - There was never a problem with light bulbs until the Christians came along.
New Ager - We don't use light bulbs. We think happy thoughts at our crystals and they glow.
Presbyterian - Change is bad.
Scientist - Whatever religion thinks happened to the light bulb science can explain it.
Scientologist - Where did the UFO go?
Shaman - Why bother changing the light bulb when you can change yourself into a bat and see in the dark?
Viking - There's plenty of light coming from the burning monastery.
Wiccan - Convene a circle on the next full moon and channel energy into it.
Witch - Into watt?

Some of these were inspired by jokes plastered all over the internet.Sorry if I missed anyone, no offense. Just let me know what path you follow and I'm sure I can think of something.

I realised I left out...
Hindu - Remember, in your next life you may be a light bulb.

LMAO, use the force . . . *giggles*

My favourites would have to be Agnostic, Ancient Egyptian, Ancient Roman (I mean just compare Catholicism to Judaism, which is where Christianity evolved from), Scientology and Witch.

Love the viking one!! Totally rules!